It was an unseasonably cool and gray August morning. My first day in Client Services. I arrived to the offices behind the Honda Center in Anaheim early. After waiting for about 20 minutes I received a brief orientation from the HR lady about looking and behaving professionally, I was escorted to the Client Service floor where the HR lady openly mentioned to another person that 2 new employees had failed their drug tests and had to reschedule with another lab to retake the test. This is what is commonly referred to in literary circles as FORESHADOWING.
Amid the cacophony of conversations that resonated through the cavernous office of the CS department I met my trainer, Cole. He was lanky, bald with no facial hair except for the bushy triangular beard on his chin. We shook hands as I invaded his desk and sat in his chair. He had another chair ready and he also had an extra pair of headsets connected to the phone.
"Couldn't find a good job, eh?" Cole said with a smile, his relaxed blue eyes harmlessly looked at me. I later found him to be funny, laid back and defiant.
"Pretty much," I said, refreshed with this honest candor.
"Don't worry. This job is easy. The hard part are the client coordinators."
"Who are they?"
Cole pointed to the line of cubicles against the wall.
"They're your boss. Who do you have?" He asked.
"I don't know," I said. "No one told me anything about that."
"Get used to that," he said with a smile. "No one communicates here."
With that he turned to a female co-worker and quietly asked her a question. After some chuckles he turned back to face me.
"You got Ramona," he whispered.
"Ok. Good or bad?" I asked quietly and economically.
"She's cool but she's the email queen. She never leaves the cubicle. Never answers her phone. She leaves early a lot and comes in late."
"Thanks for the info."
"No problem," he said. "I'll give you the lowdown on all of them since you seem like you're gonna last. At the far end is Lani. She don't do shit. She's always out of the cubicle making sure everyone is on the phones, but all she does is plan her parties, she has a catering business on the side."
"Nice," I said sarcastically.
"Next to her is my boss, Tony. Little asshole. Always nitpicking about the way we answer the phones and the log notes. He'll copy the note, paste in the email, then call you over to his cubicle, explain the note and the email, repeating word for word what he just wrote but then a week later he'll change his own policy."
"Time waster," I said nodding. "Let me guess, younger guy, probably an exec's nephew, trying to act really professional when he doesn't know what he's doing or talking about."
Cole nodded. "Then there's your boss, followed by Jon, intense dude, knows what he's talking about, scores really easily with the ladies. A real sales dude masquerading as a debt settlement dude. He can convince you he's got integrity but he'll pick your wallet during the conversation."
He then turned to the next cubicle.
"Laura. Hottie MILF. Everyone wants to be on her team. She's really cool. Laid back."
"What's the line on her?" I asked.
"Has no clue what she's doing. Her assistants handle everything. And finally there's Rena. High-maitenance. Spends more time shopping than she does in the office. She's got family. A lot of the department managers do. But Rena also doesn't do shit."
I noticed Ramona exit her cubicle and walked in our direction. I looked up at her and smiled. She smiled back.
"Cole, why haven't you taken any calls?" She asked.
"None have come in," he said matter-of-factly.
"Are you on green?"
"Since seven am when I came in. I already emailed I.T. and let Tony know. I haven't heard anything since."
"Let me check with Tony and I.T. then. In the meantime show him the paperwork we need to fill out for special requests."
"Tony doesn't do that with us," Cole said.
Ramona sighed. She initially came across as a nurturing elementary school teacher but as the conversation progressed with Cole that demeanor quickly changed. Her penciled eyebrows frowned and her jaw clenched. She turned and headed back to her cubicle.
"Pssh, typical," Cole said softly to me.
"So we're not on the same team, but you're training me? Why doesn't anyone on my team train me?"
Cole shrugged.
"Welcome to Client Services," he said.
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As the week went on I finally listened in and even answered a few calls. Cole called in sick on Thursday and I was paired with another Rep not on my team, Veronica. She was stoic and had an annoyed expression on her face along with several shades of brown in her hair. I could only guess that she didn't want to train me.
So I sat down and slipped the headsets on. Veronica didn't talk much. She tapped her fancy manicured fingernails on the desk impatiently waiting for calls. She sighed a few times until finally her phone rang. I answered immediately and lucky for me the first few morning calls were uncomplicated. Veronica would say a few words but I didn't pay heed to them. I preferred Cole's style of just transferring the calls to different departments.
During another lull I sat back and noticed the photos of Veronica with 2 kids, a boy about 10 years of age and a girl about 7. It was the just three of them at the park with a beer can in her hand or at Disneyland, elementary school photos and so on. Every photo was just the three of them.
Another call. Irate client. Great.
"Thank you for calling...."
"Where is my money going?" A lady with a deep, nicotine voice interrupted loudly.
"Well, it is going to your trust account that the attorney created to store money during the negotiations. When enough has accumulated and an agreement has been reached...."
"Don't hand me that bullshit, sir. I paid over two-thousand dollars and my trust account shows a balance of zero. Where is my fucking money?"
"I can see if anyone in accounting can answer that for you..." I said in knee-jerk fashion. Veronica shook her head furiously.
"I ALREADY TALKED TO SOMEONE IN ACCOUNTING AND THEY TRANSFERRED ME TO YOU! NOW GODDAMNIT, WHERE IS MY MONEY?"
Veronica leaned over and pressed the hold button.
"Why are you going to send her to accounting? Just tell her that the engagement fee has to be paid off first before the attorney can start."
I shrugged and pressed the hold button again.
"HELLO! HELLO!" She yelled.
"I'm here. I was just reviewing your file and it looks like your engagement fee needs to be paid off first before the attorney can start negotiating," I said cheerfully and calmly.
"WHHHHAAAAA?"
The phone went silent for a moment.
"Hello? Hello?" I repeated into the phone.
"This is such bullshit. No one ever said a word about an engagement fee. This is such a scam. I'm going to report you to the better business bureau and the district attorney. You guys are crooks. Do you hear me? Are you proud of what you're doing? I'm an old woman. I have no money."
The client continued the litany of personal setbacks. Veronica shrugged her shoulders and placed her on hold.
"Don't let her keep talking like that. Take control of the call. Get her off. You don't have time to listen to her bullshit."
"But she's upset," I said. "Isn't our job to calm her down and reassure her that she's going to be fine in the program?"
"Fuck that," Veronica said. "Own the call," she said.
Own the call? I didn't know what that meant. I sat there and didn't say a word, allowing the client to vent.
"Get her off the phone," Veronica ordered. I shook my head and held up my hands as if to say "I don't know what you mean."
She reached over and switched the phone over to her headset.
"Hello, ma'am. This is Veronica, I'm one of the managers here. I listened to the conversation with my associate and the contract says that negotiations will not begin until the engagement fee has been paid. Did you read the contract?"
"I didn't understand all that legal mumbo jumbo!" The client said.
"Well, that's not my problem, ma'am. Get someone to read it and explain it to you. All we can do is help and you're yelling and using profanity. We're not the ones who got you in debt, ma'am. Maybe you should have thought of that before you got yourself in debt."
I stared at Veronica in disbelief. I could see she was taking great pleasure in belittling the client. In fact the other Reps who weren't on the phones cheered her own, smiling and pumping their fists.
"HOW DARE YOU!!! I AM IN DEBT BECAUSE MY HUSBAND DIED! I HAD THE HOSPITAL COSTS AND FUNERAL EXPENSES! I AM DONE WITH YOU PEOPLE!"
Click. The dial tone came on.
Veronica switched the phone to my headset and sat back down on her chair.
"That's how you get dumbassess off the phone," she said proudly.
"I hate stupid people like that," said another Rep roughly the same age as Veronica, early to mid 20's.
"All these clients are idiots and freakin' lazy," said another young Rep.
"You got to remember that you're in control. Don't let them talk to you that way," Veronica instructed me. "I didn't tell her to get a credit card and spend it on big screen TV's and take vacations in Hawaii."
"But the client said she got in debt from the hospital and funeral expenses," I said in rebuttal.
"I don't care. That's not problem. I have my own bullshit to deal with and I don't want to go home with added bullshit on top of what I got waiting at home."
Friday arrived. No one told me it was casual attire day. I showed up in my tie, slacks and buttoned shirt. When I saw the clothes the Reps wore it suddenly occurred to me the world I found myself in.
The men were dressed in the following:
- Raider jerseys 3 sizes too big with baggy jeans and Raider baseball caps and a pair of expensive sneakers.
- Gold chains.
The women were dressed in the following:
- Tight jeans that traced the contours of their bulbous posteriors
- Tank tops showcasing the tattoos on their necks, backs, arms, legs and cleavage.
- Stripper heels. Or sandals showing off elaborately expensive pedicures, toenails with diamonds and gold.
I certainly felt my age, 40 was approaching soon for me. These Reps were half my age. There were some my age or slightly younger, but the majority it seemed were just out of high school. Their first job. This was my third or fourth. The calls came in sporadically. Cole had me on the phones the whole day. He cracked seeds and chatted it up the whole day.
"Fridays are usually slow," he said. "But they're going to change that soon. The CEO doesn't like it when people sit around and do nothing. So what does he do? He opens a call center in Managua."
"Did I miss something? So in order to keep us busy he's opening a call center in Nicaragua?"
Cole again shrugged as he always did and took some seed shells from his mouth and placed them on a napkin on the desk.
"Welcome to the company," he said laughing.
